I just cut my nipple shaving
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
