New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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