woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
