Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
