hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Randomize