i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
