Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
