I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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