the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
