im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
