Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Randomize
