just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
barbara walters just said penis...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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