so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
