I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
