1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize