drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
