So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
