no. you can't hotbox the world.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
