i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
do nipples grow back?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
