Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
