its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Someone signed my nipple.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
