Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
