I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
