Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
