u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
