Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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