I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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