After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize