He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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