It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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