Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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