google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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