I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize