is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
