Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
