I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
