I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
