you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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