wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
