You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
