Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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