I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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