I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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