I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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