Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
