It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
