You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
