Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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