i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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