Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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