I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
