I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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