You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
