Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
