There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
If I die, sorry about rent.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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