just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Im part way to drunk.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
