I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
