These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
