I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
