let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
