I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
