i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
