i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Randomize
