is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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