there's paper in my vomit.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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