do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
