Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
