Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
