I can tuck mytits in my pants
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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