you're like a bully in the Christmas story
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
