So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
