I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
