as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dignity is for republicans.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
