How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
