I just saw a hot homeless man
Nicole vs. Life
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
