I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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