If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
